friend-zoning guys is horrible. it is disgusting. funzone them instead. send them to a small childs park so they can cry with the other babies when they dont get what they want.


perks of dating me: u will be the hot one




I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

I’m going to get a bigger glass and add more mixer and have way too much to drink: The Thrilling Conclusion


big byung wins the VMA for video of the year, best male video, best female video, best pop video, best collaboration, best video with a social message, best lyric video of the year, artist to watch and mtv clubland award. every category. the crowd is slightly confused but they cheer in happiness. they are no longer stressed. obama sheds a tear. america is saved.

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance